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Poem for Sad England
07/07/2006: Can't remember where I saw this first but it cheered me up. Apologies to the real author and hope you don't mind it being shown here. I think it owes alot to the legendary Shel Silverstein.
Everything's wrong,
Days are too long,
Sunshine's too hot,
Wind is too strong.
Clouds are too fluffy,
Grass is too green,
Ground is too dusty,
Sheets are too clean.
Rooney is too grumpy,
Crouch is too tall,
Hargreaves is a Canuck,
And the Portugese all fall.
Walcott is too rested,
The Wags are too waggy,
Gerrard is too scousy,
And C.Ronaldo is too f*ggy
Owen is too gimpy,
Where'd all our strikers go?
Only one man in front
Where is Jermaine Defoe?
Some teams have captains
With grit, guts and balls
We've got David Beckham
Oh, how the tears did fall!
Andy Gray is too kooky,
Shearer is a big pr*ck,
ITV and the BBC,
Both suck, take your pick
Lampard is oh-for-25
Not including the pen
But it's not all his fault
We haven't gotten to Sven
Sven is too sleepy
Sven is too pricey
Sven is too creepy
Sven is too dicey
But Sven's biggest fault
Is he's just too Swedish
Next World Cup will be as bad
'Cause McClaren is too Svenish
The final is this Sunday,
Again, we can only stare
As Italy or France -- not us! --
Lift the cup into the air.
Their fans will be too happy
Singin' their victory songs.
Why won't they admit it?
Everything's wrong!
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