Stan and Hughie on Safari - A2b World Cup Twitter

Written by Dave Allan Tuesday, 22 June 2010 21:18

England World Cup Blog

Hi I'm Stan and I've travelled to South Africa with my mate Hughie in a burger van to return an England star's luggage and see some footy!

Today we're enjoying the Kragga Kama Game Reserve. Well, I am, Hughie isn't. Thanks to his insane hair growth and love of leaping at people from trees he has been shot with tranquilliser darts several times. This has rendered him even less coherent than usual and made him quite grumpy. Last seen, he was urging several baboons to "start some shit"

Well, it's been quite a day. Hughie's influence over the baboons has caused some big problems. This began with his election as head of the troop this morning. He immediately took them out on strike, demanding fresher mangos. They later issued a series of demands including the reinstatement of Corkey, a young male expelled for giving the Head Ranger the fingers. They then proceeded to direct action, pelting paying guests with improvised guava bombs and picketing the watering hole.

This led to a tense stand off with the Elephants outraged that all animals hadn't been balloted on any proposed action. The Rangers eventually had to step in. Shots fired. Fecal matter thrown - not by me I might add; I just can't go in such tense circumstances.

With his baboon insurrection quelled, Hughie made off into a densely wooded area. We're hunting him now.

I'm having to be the voice of reason here. The Rangers want to shoot him and air-lift him "Operation Dumbo Drop" style to Zimbabwe.

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