England v Algeria - Stan and Hughie

Written by Stan Logan Saturday, 19 June 2010 23:04

England World Cup Blog

Hi I'm Stan and I'm a Scot at the World Cup following England. Why? I can barely remember but stick around to find out! As faithful followers will recall, I have been trying to return an England star's bag, left behind when he visited my school. Among a number of valuable items in the bag are a live peacock (quite scrawny), a genuine get-out-of-jail-free card and Mazarati jump leads.

Today - attempt number two to get into the match and access the squad. Unfortunately, Hughie's plan to do this is no better than last weeks. Last plan to pretend to be MSPs was a disaster when Hughie revealed his disguise was a sarong, a boating blazer and a damaged wheelchair. The new plan, which sees Hughie posing as England legend Alan Mullery and I as his exotic nurse Nancy, seems little better on the face of it. Mainly because Hughie is wearing exactly the same "disguise". Although, fair doos, he has swapped the wheelchair for a spacehopper.

Hughie is convinced this will work. Me? Not so much. Trying to find a number for lost England property on the FA website. Drawing a blank. You'd think they'd have one. Lads must always be losing stuff then they're out having scuffles with the public or up the lap dancing clubs.

Meanwhile, I see back home that Burger King are offering watching a match with Jimmy Greaves as a World Cup prize. This has prompted Hughie to start offering a similar prize to our customers. Unfortunately though there have been no takers for "Share a bath with Frank McGarvey" offer so far. Hughie doesn't know Frank apparently, but seems sure he can sort it out with him if we get a nibble.

Unsurprisingly, the "Mullery Plan" didn't work. Neither did Hughie's back-up plan of posing as accredited journalists from "Radio Sexy".In truth we only narrowly avoided arrest. Policemen love free burgers thankfully!  We have managed to get tickets for the game though. Maybe I'll be close enough just to throw the bag at England's kit man?

There is some sad news though, the peacock has expired. In accordance with what we think he would have wanted, we've been selling peacock breast " Royalty Burgers" all day. Quite popular.

Quite a lot of England fans dressed as Crusaders. They are starting to get annoyed with me asking if they have any nuts. 

I was just trying to return the bag! http://bit.ly/dpsbke

You should have heard Rooney! Haven't heard language like that since the last time Hughie was at the nurse getting his waxy thumb drained. We ended up getting in by posing as Princes Harry and William. I think the smell of peacock meat helped give us a regal bearing. Tough to say what gave us away. Hughie's insistence on carrying a huge ghetto blaster blaring out "Two Princes" by The Spin Doctors? Maybe. Anyway the upshot was we still didn't get to give the bag back. Thankfully the guys from the bomb squad liked a wee lager! Good night.

The English fans? Some long faces but they were mostly still up for a good night. Hughie lifted spirits by offering goes on his spacehopper.

Follow Stan and Hughie on Twitter

| More...

Comments (0)